Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
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Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”
"I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up
and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.”
“Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?”
”Who said my Dad’s dead?”
The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?”
“He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach
for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.”
“Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he
died?”
”Who said my grandpa’s dead?”
Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?”
“He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with
you this morning too?”
“No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.”
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?”
”Who said he wanted to?”
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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I do two hours of cardio every day.
But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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