Joke #12193

Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fitness

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An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?” "I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.” “Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?” ”Who said my Dad’s dead?” The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?” “He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.” “Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?” ”Who said my grandpa’s dead?” Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?” “He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?” “No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.” At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?” ”Who said he wanted to?”
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has 77.93 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, fitness, old people
Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island? A: He wanted maximum isolation.
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has 46.43 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, desert island, fitness
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: fitness, sport
I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, sex
What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fitness, life
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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has 71.33 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym
At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, stupid
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
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has 63.97 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness, gym
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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has 68.77 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife