They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.
Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard? He didn't, his beard grew him.
If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you. On facebook!
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.