They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.