They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school. When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.