They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.