Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.