Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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