Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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