Joke #12866

If you really want to loosen your pectineus, you should skip the squats and let me stretch them out.

I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.

I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?

How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?

Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?

I got stopped by a police officer on the way here. He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.

This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.

Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.

Do you squat here often?

What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?” "I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.” “Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?” ”Who said my Dad’s dead?” The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?” “He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.” “Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he died?” ”Who said my grandpa’s dead?” Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?” “He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?” “No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.” At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?” ”Who said he wanted to?”