Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.
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If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Of course you would.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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I was sat with my wife while she sipped on her glass of wine, when she said, "I love you so much, you know. I don't know how I could ever live without you."
I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?"
She said, "It's me talking to the wine.
The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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