Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
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Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm.
He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing."
The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck".
The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
Mom: "Because he never lies."
Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."