Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Mum: "How would you describe me?"
Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent."
Mum: "What about JK?"
Dad: "Just Kidding."
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
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Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal?
Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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