Joke #12987

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

When Chuck Norris comes into your house, you are the guest.

Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.

Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.

The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.

I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.

Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out. When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"

Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."