Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.
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Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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