Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
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Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
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