Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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