Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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