Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.