Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
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Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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