My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Yo mama is so fat that she could sell shade.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
Vote:
Yo mama so fat even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.
Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast.
"You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras."
That was too far over the limit.
She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."