My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Vote:
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park.
He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear.
She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!