My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls.
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast.
"You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras."
That was too far over the limit.
She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
What fits your schedule better......
Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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