My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
Yo Momma is so fat… when she took her shirt off at the strip club,everyone thought she was Jabba The Hut from Star Wars.
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.