My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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Yo mama so fat when she went to outer space NASA thought they discovered a new planet.
Yo mama so fat that her knuckles have sideburns.
This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”