Joke #1322

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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