Joke #1322

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 79.95 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
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