When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.