When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.