Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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