Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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