Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.