Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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