Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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