Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.