Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
Nietzsche's book was originally called Also Sparch Chuck Norris.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs. Then he climbed it up.
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.