Joke #10042

Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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