Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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