Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.