If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
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