If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.