If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.