How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
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Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
Genie: I will grant you two wishes.
Guy: two? It's always three, right?
Genie: look at your crotch.
Guy: Damn, that's a huge dick that I have now.
Genie: I've been doing this for centuries. I know my business.
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends.
8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
What's the difference between a man and an ox?
Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.