Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
How are men like diplomas?
You spend lots of time getting one, but once you
have it, you don't know what to do with it.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven.
"I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven.
But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off."
So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off.
When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.