Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
Vote:
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is!
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.