Joke #3172

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote: has 79.27 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
Vote: has 78.96 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, genie, men, money
Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. "In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional." With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen" said Bob.
Vote: has 79.82 % from 547 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, men
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men