Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote:
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing."
The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends:
1st: How your girlfriend look like?
2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours?
1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
Vote:
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.