Joke #1460

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
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has 26.83 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men

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"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
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has 83.33 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, men, wife
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
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has 81.49 % from 291 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, masturbation, men
If you catch a man…throw him back.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men