How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
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This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet.
Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
A man walks into a sperm Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Two couples are playing cards. John accidentally drops some cards on the floor.
When he bends down under the table to pick them up, he notices that Bill's wife isn't wearing any underwear.
Later, John goes into the kitchen to get some refreshments.
Bill's wife follows him and asks, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
John admits that he did.
She says, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."
They decide that John should come to her house around 2 p.m. on Friday while Bill is at work.
On Friday, John arrives at 2 p.m.
He pays Bill's wife $100.
They go to the bedroom, have sex and then John leaves.
When Bill comes home at 6 p.m., he asks his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?"
Reluctantly, she replies, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."
Next Bill asks, "Did he give you $100?"
She thinks, "Oh hell, he knows!" Finally she says, "Well, yes, he did give me $100."
"Good," Bill says.
"John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back."
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."