Joke #1460

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
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has 26.83 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men

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The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
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has 82.56 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: men
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: god, men
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
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has 72.07 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men