How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.