Joke #3294

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Vote:
has 81.80 % from 247 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men, work
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
Vote:
has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men, work
Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed-eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed-eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done, the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed-eater." Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?" Bubba says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed-eater?" "No." "Then you're a queer."
Vote:
has 82.39 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: bar, college, family, men, weed
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote:
has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
Vote:
has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote:
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote:
has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men