Joke #3294

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
Vote:
has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote:
has 81.02 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. “Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says ” You and your brother.” Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.” Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?” The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?” The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
Vote:
has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life, men
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Vote:
has 81.09 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: men
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat? Divorce him.
Vote:
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one." The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?" The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Vote:
has 81.83 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: men
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Vote:
has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, men
How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men, women
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Vote:
has 27.65 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, men, wife