Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.