Joke #1529

Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A reindeer Good, now name another. Another reindeer!
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has 14.23 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!” Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!” Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Bullshit, come!” Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, dog
Two rabbits are in a garden and one of the rabbits says, "Thith carrot tathes pithy." The other rabbit says, "Yes, I know, I just pithed on it."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call fish poop? BassTurds!
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
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has 78.77 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: animal