Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits?
Wheelburrows.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -
"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"