Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
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How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start off with a large fortune!
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break, it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What's a rabbits favorite book?
Hop on Pop.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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