Joke #4829

Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

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"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "It was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then we'll both know?" So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose... you must be a bunny rabbit!" The little blind bunny was so pleased with this that he danced with joy. The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?" The snake said he didn't know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, "So, what kind of animal am I?" The bunny said, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."
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has 81.65 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, lawyer
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
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has 12.72 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
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has 59.37 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
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What's green and red? A very mad frog.
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has 16.16 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal