Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
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A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest.
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!"
"
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!"
The old geezer says...
(We're waiting...)
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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
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Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.
What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late.
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina.
In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.
When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out."
The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50.
After a long pause, the couple agreed.
The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in.
After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?"
The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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