Joke #4829

Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
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has 21.06 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, stupid, Yo mama
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal