Joke #4829

Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
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has 80.52 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit. “Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down. “But when will I meet her?” “Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 45.33 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
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has 59.68 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, business, ginger, god
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife