Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
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Two hikers are out hiking.
All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.
The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second hiker says, "What are you doing?"
The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it."
The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear?
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Vote:
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't."
"How do you know he isn t?"
"Because I am."
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer.
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to.
They landed in each other.
Who was wrong?
The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino?
A Helephino!!