Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
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Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest.
1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room!
2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it.
3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2.
Home he replied to shag the cat!
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.
Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in.
A: A worm.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.