Joke #4829

Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 82.33 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
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has 29.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad
Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"
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has 72.34 % from 431 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, sex
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
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has 76.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
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has 22.70 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, men
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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has 37.60 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
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has 46.07 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT