Joke #79

Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men

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Bob saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. "In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional." With that Bob dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrolable hysteria. "I'm sorry I really am, I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen" said Bob.
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has 80.40 % from 569 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.79 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: business, men
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
10 things men don't say 1)Let's watch Lifetime. 2)Sex is overrated. 3)I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you. 5)Don't we owe your mother a visit? 6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down. 7)Dessert goes right to my hips. 8)I hate when I miss Oprah. 9)Does this suit make me look fat? 10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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has 31.97 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: men, mother in law, music, sex
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men