Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
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How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
