Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop.
Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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