One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.