What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys.
What is wrong with this joke?
1. This isn't a joke
2. The blonde is thinking
One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park.
Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!"
The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t, they’re born that way!
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown.
She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep.
She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?"
The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car.
The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!”
The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?”
“No, I drove here.”
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect.
The police chief shows them the first mug shot.
"That's not him," the first blonde states.
"This man only has one eye."
The chief is stunned.
"He only has one eye because it's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the second blonde.
"That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers.
He smacks his head.
"It's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the third blonde.
After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses."
"How do you know that?"
"Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
Q. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A. Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.