Joke #155

What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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has 37.97 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited - she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi Hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it. It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. There's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
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has 84.81 % from 552 votes. More jokes about: blonde, husband, marriage
How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? ‘It’s okay, Daddy, I’m not hurt.’
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A bloke walks into a bar in the bush to discover a 44 gallon drum almost overflowing with $20 notes. He sits at the bar and orders a beer. A short while later one of the locals gets up, throws $20 into the drum and walks out the back. He soon returns shaking his head disgruntled and sits down. Five more minutes pass when another local does exactly the same. The bloke asks the bartender what is the go with the drum full of 20's . The bartender says that they have a donkey out the back that has never laughed in its life. So you simply throw in the $20 and have a go, if the donkey laughs then the drum and its contents are yours. Been going ten years so far. The young bloke gets up, throws his 20 into the drum and proceeds out the back.  Within seconds the donkey his laughing its head off.  As he strolls back inside all the locals ask what he did but he won't say and simply takes the drum full of cash and leaves. 10 years goes past and the young bloke decides to pay the pub another visit. This time he sees a drum overflowing with $50 notes in the middle of the room. He goes up to the bar tender and asks again what the deal is with the drum. The bartender says that they have the same donkey still out the back and seeing as he had made it laugh, the deal was you now had to make it cry but it was a 50 not a 20. The young bloke gets up, throws in his 50 and goes out the back. About a minute later the donkey is crying his eyes out and the young man returns to the bar. The locals beg him to tell them how he has done it as it has cost them a fortune attempting it. The young bloke says that to make him laugh he told the donkey his member was bigger than the donkeys. Everyone sighed and understood how easy that was and why didn't they think of it. Now they demanded to know what tactic he had used to make the donkey cry so miserably. The young bloke replied that it was quite simple as well, he just showed it to him.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, blonde, money
A blonde goes to the hospital to give blood and is asked what type she is. She tells them she’s an outgoing cat-lover.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill. A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill. A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill. A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger