A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time? A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions.
How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated." What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Q: How do you know a blonde's having a bad day? A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."