Joke #6954

What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
Vote: has 79.46 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
Vote: has 75.77 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women