Joke #6954

What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
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has 78.76 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: men

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A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
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A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
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Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
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Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, men
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. “Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says ” You and your brother.” Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.” Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?” The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?” The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
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Man: Great idea, bad design.
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What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
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has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men, women, work
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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has 84.80 % from 694 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women