Joke #1781

Q: What's long and black and smells like shit? A: The welfare line.

A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"

what do black people and bicycles have in common? They only work with a chain on.

Q: Did you hear about the Mexican that went to college? A: Neither did I.

Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."

Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised? A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20% off.

What do you call ten million black people jumping out of a plane? Night time.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers? Prison Warden.

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don't work and always take your money.

At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there. His mother didn’t allow it. The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind. Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him. Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it. Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman! Superman rescued the child! The crowd relieved applauses. The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman. "Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them. "New York Times." "You can ask me now." Superman said. "Were you scared while saving the kid?" "Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost." To the next reporter: "Which newspaper are you from? "Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?" "I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil." The third reporter: "Which newspaper are you from?" "Risebroker" (Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper) "To you, you damned communist, I’m not saying a word!" Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage: New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sacrifice standard! Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior! Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!

What do you call a nigger with no arms, and no legs? Trustworthy.