What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days