What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
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Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Mum: "How would you describe me?"
Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent."
Mum: "What about JK?"
Dad: "Just Kidding."
Vote:
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest..
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.