When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.