When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets.
He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
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