When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.