When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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