When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.