When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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