Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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