Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.