Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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