Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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