Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.