Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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