A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
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I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country.
Then I woke up.
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question.
“Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”
“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.
Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!”
Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.”
She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
An Indian and an African walk into a bar...
Just jokin'.
It's just two liberal white women.
Vote:
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.
Vote:
Joke has 72.09 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, mexican, political, racist, republican
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach?
Cats keep covering them with sand.
Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.