Joke #1955

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Vote:
has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, political

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.
Vote:
has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, political
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.” “Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
Vote:
has 78.55 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, political
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Vote:
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: food, life, political
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Vote:
has 73.38 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: black humor, golf, heaven, political
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Vote:
has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: money, political, weather
"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?" "Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."
Vote:
has 78.12 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
Vote:
has 31.97 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, political, republican, stupid
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand." Not one hand went up...so she took them home and ate them.
Vote:
has 86.41 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
Vote:
has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: god, lawyer, men, tax