I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country.
Then I woke up.
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At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t heard the question.
“Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”
“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party:
"What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same.
Let me give you an example.
The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
Vote:
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
Vote:
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral.
The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly?
Did you steal the car?”
Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”