A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately.
‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man.
‘Watch them!’ says his wife.
‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
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Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft.
In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.
The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs
A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch.
Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground?
Emile Heskey replied:
"Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
Vote:
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Vote:
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.