Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't share a toothbrush with your friends.
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes?
A: "Toes go in first."
Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk.
The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before."
The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
How do blondes pierce their ears?
They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside.
He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
Two blonde football fans are walking along the road when one of them picks up a mirror.
He looks in it and says, 'Hey, I know that person!'
The second one picks it up and says, 'Of course you do, you idiot, it's me'.
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*