Joke #2014

Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time
I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head. She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore. Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it. "Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads. "Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
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has 80.42 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy who works there where the country music CD's are. The salesman replies, "Try the other side." So the blonde moves to his other ear and says, "Where are the country music CD's?"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, math, technology
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde