What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car.
The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha!
This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said,
"You're free to go.
And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
An Italian guy is out picking up chicks in Roma.
While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive looking blonde.
So they’re back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while…
He climaxes loudly.
Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So…. you finish?” After a slight pause.
She replies, “No.”
Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, and has his way with her again, this time lasting even longer than the first… and this time completing the deed with even louder shouts.
Again he rolls over, lights a cigarette, and asks, “So…. you finish?”
And again, after a short pause, she simply says “No.”
Stunned, but still acting reflexively on his macho pride, he once again puts out the cigarette, and mounts his companion du jour.
This time, with all the strength he could muster up, he barely manages to end the task, but he does, after quite some time and energy is spent.
Barely able to roll over, he reaches for his cigarette … lights it again, and then asks tiredly, “So… you finish?”
“No. I’m Swedish.”
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training.
As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away.
Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use.
Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse.
Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again.
Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
Vote:
Q: What happened when a blonde missed the Q44 bus?
A: She took the Q22 twice.
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break?
If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg?
Nothing, they’ve never met!
A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that lived in his apartment complex.
To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself.
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.
Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his “tool of the trade”.
But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again.
He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk.
He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk.
Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, “So that’s how you guys load those things!”
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one.
They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out.
The dog didn't work.
No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”