Joke #3582

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
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A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells off the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painter. "I'm here for the paint job," she said. "Alright," said the man. "Here is the paint and your brush. I want you to paint my porch behind the house." The blonde immediately went to work painting. Within an hour, she was done and decided to put on a second coat. After she finished, she returned to the man for her pay. She said with satisfaction, "I not only completed the job, but I even put on two coats of paint! By the way, that isn't a Porsche out back. It's a new BMW.
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Did you hear about the blonde who thought Doris Day was a national holiday?
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Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
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A policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver’s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver’s license, he asks for registration. Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It’s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.” “Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his cock out. Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!”
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A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts. A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?" "Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
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A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside. He says, "I will grant you three wishes." The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear." The genie replies, "Your wish is my command." Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
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Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
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Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"
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Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common? A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
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A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Vote: has 69.28 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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