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Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!
Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer?!
Help desk: There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer?
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
Q: What is height of Craziness?
A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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