Joke #2461

Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: IT

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The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
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has 78.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 85.84 % from 1832 votes. More jokes about: computer, drug, IT, medical, money
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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has 85.15 % from 528 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, women
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: IT
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
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has 77.67 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, IT
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
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has 80.73 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT
Hide a seek champion... ; Since 1958
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, nerd