Windows: Weapon off mass destruction!
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t. And there will be a special name for them – secretaries.
What’s an Athlon at 1,2 GHz processor that runs for 9 minutes without a cooler called? 8.5 minutes burned processor.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”