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When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
ChuckNorris.com.
Don't go there.
It's like the United States of Chuck Norris...
No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
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A programmer had a problem.
He decided to use Java.
He now has a ProblemFactory.
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
What is the other name for the ‘Intel Inside?'
"The warning label." {Intel inside.......fool is outside}.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen".
The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them".
Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".