Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!"
Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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