Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.
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What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and Georgia Tech?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Vote:
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me."
Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Four nuns were attending a baseball game.
Four men were sitting directly behind them.
Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the nuns hoping that they’d get annoyed enough to move to another area.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I’m going to move to Utah. There are only 100 nuns living there."
Then the second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Missouri, there are only 75 nuns living there."
The third guy said, "I want to go to Texas, there are only 50 nuns living there."
The fourth guy said, "I want to go to Maine. There are only 25 nuns living there."
The mother superior turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet and calm voice said, "Why don’t you go to hell, there aren’t any nuns there!"
Q: What sports team is the least safe around children?
A: The Nashville Predators.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things.
I just won the California lottery!"
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care.
Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"