Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?
All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.
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Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding.
One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24!
What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."
"What do you call it?"
"We call it a football wedding."
The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"
The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash.
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled.
Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air.
When it came down he missed again. "Strike Two!" he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together.
He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"
Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it.
He missed. "Strike Three!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"
An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker.
The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!"
He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one.
Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!"
Concerned, his partner turns to him
"What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"