Joke #4708

I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work. To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.

A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"

Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.

Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.

The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.

What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!

Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.

Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."

I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.