Joke #2592

A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There are these two guys named John and Cliff. They were best friends and were so obsessed with baseball that they would go to 60 games a year and analyze every scoreboard. They even promised each other that when one of them goes to heaven, the deceased one would come back and tell the other whether there was baseball in heaven or not. One night Cliff dies in his sleep after watching a Chicago White Sox game — Chicago won, so at least he died a happy man. The next day Cliff returns to earth to see his friend. "Hi, John.”" "Cliff, is it really you?" "Hey, I told you I’d be back to tell you what’s up. And, you know John, there’s good news and bad news." "Okay. What’s the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven." "The bad news?" "You’re pitching tomorrow night."
Vote: has 66.44 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, family, sport
There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman. And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, sport, Yo mama
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too. Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts. "Then," asks her teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds. The teacher is now angry. "That’s no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, school, sport, stupid, teacher
Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Vote: has 71.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport, wife
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41." So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So, again, we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport
The Golfer asked his Caddy, "Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, "The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!"
Vote: has 33.37 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: golf, sport