A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen.
The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
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Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine.
He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves.
As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?"
Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted.
"You can't get out of here with an eight iron!"
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box?
High five!
Q:How do sport players stay cool in game?
A:They stay in front of some fans!
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Billionaire Richard Branson has withdrawn from a sponsorship deal of Chesterfield Football Club.
He stated that 'he couldnt have the name VIRGIN on the teams shirts ... when they get fucked every week !'
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
Vote:
A man walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man.
"This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender.
"If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
"The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man.
"I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"