A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in." - Terry Venables.
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. "Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the instructor. "P-u-t-t is correct," he replied. "Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? All the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the USA.