Joke #2620

"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy." Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!"

Yo'Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics? Kyle: I haven't a clue. Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!

What do golfers use in China? China tees!

Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.

Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse. Baby Bear is put on the stand. The judge says, "Do you want to live with Papa Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "He beats me." The judge then asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Bear?" "No," Baby Bear replies. "She beats me too." So the judge says, "So who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear replies, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody."

When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!