The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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Q: What do you do when you see a black man with half a face?
A: Stop laughing and reload.
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What do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
Virgin mobile.
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Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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