The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.