Joke #2794

The judge asks the murderer: Why did you kill that old lady? For money.. But you got only 20 cents Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
Vote: has 49.86 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
Vote: has 86.81 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, priest
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
Vote: has 76.44 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
Vote: has 80.23 % from 181 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, black humor, disgusting, life, sex
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Vote: has 65.24 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
Vote: has 79.37 % from 217 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, old people, phone
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies. He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened. The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes. The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black? The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
Vote: has 64.25 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, game, golf, life