Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.