Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.