Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win.
Period.
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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