Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.