When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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