Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.