Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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