Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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