Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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