Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed
calls.
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