Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor.
Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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