Joke #2997

Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A loan shark asks a lawyers advice: How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt? Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you. Ok but I only loaned him $1,000! That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: "How many can you afford?"
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has 78.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, light bulb, money
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two". The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it." The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer "somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001." Next came an attorney. He stated that "in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four." Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down. Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?" He got the job.
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has 84.96 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, lawyer, management, work
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.
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has 78.10 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, political
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop, lawyer, wife
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer